Is everything okay at home?
What? I think so…last time I looked…how’s everything at home for you?
Not quite the morning social exchange I was looking for as I dropped off my son at school with only moments to spare to make the train for work. Suddenly my mood changes from buoyant to apprehensive…..IS everything okay at home? Have I missed something in my sunny optimism? Was there a monster lurking in the corner of the living room that I didn’t seem to notice as I vacuumed?
Not that I haven’t heard this before, but it always does take the wind out of my sails and each time I tell myself to be better prepared next time. I ask some of my “Mom” friends who don’t seem to be asked this same question. There are distinct differences that my partner and I experience as a “Two Dad” family I realize. The fact that our son doesn’t have a Mom in his life on a day-to-day basis seems to bother some women I’ve noticed. Not that I believe they even are aware of it, it just “shows up” in conversation.
Early childhood education is a woman’s world. Why don’t more men choose this career path? Don’t get me wrong, we’ve had wonderful experiences with some educators, we’ve had relationships rich with genuine love and respect, but then we find ourselves adrift in a sea of conflicting opinions – those that seem to focus on what our son “doesn’t have”.
We know what our son does have; two devoted adoring Dads who value his social and emotional development. We want him to succeed in life and be a happy adult. We nurture him, kiss his bumps and scrapes, cook his meals, read him bedtime stories, rub his back until he falls asleep…we parent. We do what all our friends do. Like all the other Dads we know whom partner with their wives do.
Our commitment to our son is bigger than us -it is the most precious and highly prized achievement in our collective lifetimes. In bed at night, weary from a long and busy day, we affirm the miracle of being parents to our beautiful son. Yes he’s energetic and demanding, challenging and frustrating, but he’s also magical, inquisitive, confidant, affectionate and so very loving.
So is everything okay at home? I think so!